Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
