If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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