8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
