I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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