It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
