i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
