i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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