it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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