Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
