omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
