You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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