This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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