i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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