Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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