I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
