I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
