i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
