You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize