wanna go halves on a baby?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
