she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
