thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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