I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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