I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
