Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
