If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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