I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
