Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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