need another drink. this is the easiest way
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
