I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
