He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
