she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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