youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
