Having a random hookup so left but love u
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
