Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
