I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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