it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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