i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
