I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drunk is a universal language darling
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
