I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think Iโm in love
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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