somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
