I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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