Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just had sex on a roof
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
