First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize