He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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