Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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