is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
