Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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