I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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