I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
