you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
