My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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