I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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