I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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