you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
