I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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