next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
