his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
