To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just threw up on my dentist
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
